I was just reading an article in AARP Bulletin about how the Baby Boom generation is changing the role of grandparent. One of the most annoying aspects of the article were the large number of grandmothers who didn't want their grandchildren to call them "grandma" or the equivalent. One of the women was quoted as saying, "Not grandma. That moniker is quaint and oldfangled, and I am neither...I want my grandmother name to be fun, cool, inventive--or at the very least, not frumpy."
Oh come on! And what are these "cool, inventive" substitute monikers? Lalo, Nani, Bobo, G-ma, Mimi, Meema and (gag me!) Glamma. I don't see these names as cool or inventive at all. They are nonsense syllables, and do nothing to hide the relationship between the child and the grandparent. Do these morons really think they'll seem younger if a little child is calling their Botoxed face Mimi? Do they really think people will think, "Oh, look at that hip young woman with that child! I wonder if she's kidnapping him, or is she the nanny?" No, they'll just think, "Look at that delusional old woman who is trying so desperately to pretend she's under 60 that she won't even let her own grandchildren call her 'grandma'."
Come on, ladies! Were you fooled by those tarted up moms who made their children call them by their first names in the hopes that people would mistake them for siblings, not mother and child? No, of course you weren't. You looked down on them as pathetic fools who couldn't age gracefully. Please, take a look in the mirror! Or take a listen to your grandkids as they address you!
Forcing your grandchildren to call you a ridiculous made-up title doesn't make you young or inventive. Grandma is a respectable title. It has no age requirement. I know plenty of grandmas in their 40s, and they don't seem afraid to have a sweet little voice calling them "Grandma". They don't worry it makes them old. No one makes you old but you!
The old saying was that you are only as old as you feel. I think the reality is you are as old as you fear being. I'm not advocating giving up, letting your hair go gray and breaking out the rocking chair. Get out there and try new activities, eat well, exercise, and stay as healthy as possible! But don't fear aging. Don't be so desperate to hide it--everyone can see the desperation. And they can certainly hear it every time a 5-year-old calls you Meema or Lalo. We're not stupid. We can translate Bobo or G-ma or Glamma. It means Grandma. And that means you. Pull up your Big Girl Pants (or your Depends if you need 'em, you hip, glamorous gal, you) and enjoy it. It's a privilege!
